Passport in, Taylor out. Almost.

Passport in, Taylor out. Almost.

In just a few weeks, I will receive my passport for the first time ever. This probably isn’t a big deal to a lot of people; not only can anyone get a passport, it is nearly mandatory for citizens in Kentucky to have one now. But for me, this is a huge deal because suddenly I feel like I could get lost in the world. I have just one problem: I don’t know where to go.

I told my family on New Year’s that I intend to start travelling alone this year. They didn’t believe me, but I fully intend on visiting another country on my own within the next couple of months. I was planning on going to England, but that ship has sailed. Now I am back at square one and will be spending the next couple of weeks deciding where on Earth I want to go (literally).

All I know is that the travel bug has bit me, and I’ve got to scratch it. Who knows? Maybe there will be roller coasters.

Do you ever get the urge to ride roller coasters all day?

Do you ever get the urge to ride roller coasters all day?

Don’t get me wrong: I am deathly afraid of heights. Something as simple as Disney World‘s Expedition Everest is enough to freak me out, and I have the pictures to prove it. I wouldn’t even ride on an airplane unless it were important to me because I would probably have a panic attack the whole time. But for the past few days I have had the strongest urge to just go to an amusement park and ride as many roller coasters as I can all day.

I guess I just want to do something a little crazy (hey, roller coasters are crazy for me) and spontaneous for once. Nothing bad or wrong, just riding roller coasters for hours like a kid on a sugar rush.

Maybe it’s time for me to look for some amusement parks nearby or finally give in and go back to Satan’s Butthole (aka Florida) for a few days. Suddenly a trip back to “the happiest place on Earth” is sounding more and more tempting. It would be nice to set aside my problems for a solid week and just be alone and goofing off. As long as this time I don’t step on a snake.

Now I kind of wonder if anyone else gets the urge to do things like that? Or am I just a weirdo?

It’s 2 AM and everything kind of sucks right now. I’m going to go try to sleep and ignore the arguing in the other room. Au reviour, les Felicieuses.


Apparently dragons like Doritos Loaded.

Apparently dragons like Doritos Loaded.

I usually don’t have recurring dreams. I don’t even think I have ever had the same dream more than once, or at least I don’t remember it happening. This week, however, has been an exception because I have now had the same nerdtastic dream twice. It was strange, weird, and – now that I think of it – a bit of a nightmare.

I had just walked through the doors of Hogwarts, astounded by its beauty and in awe by its structure. Rain could be heard from outside, which would have made it seem creepy if not for the fact that the castle felt like home. I was about to wander off, but a young Ron Weasley stopped me with a greeting.

I would have expected an older Rupert Grint to appear.

Totally out-of-character for Ron, but he cheerily offered to show me around (not that he wasn’t a friendly kid in the movies and books, but I feel like he wouldn’t act excited to give a tour of Hogwarts even if he was tasked to). Part of me was upset that I couldn’t sneak and look around on my own, but I was just happy to be in Hogwarts at all. I don’t really remember much of the tour, except the part where he shows me the Ravenclaw common room.

Why didn’t the movies show the Ravenclaw common room?!

It was one of the most beautiful and coziest places I had ever been. I stood at the entrance for what felt like several minutes, trying to focus on just one of the room; then I did. It wasn’t the statue or paintings, or even the shelves full of books – it was the windows. There was a beautiful view, but my attention was on the forest. Something was about to happen, and it wasn’t good.

If you ever wanted to know what anxiety feels like, this image is it.

Suddenly alarms went off and people were scrambling back and forth. I turned my head to watch Ron run off, only to look back at the window and watch as Alduin – a badass dragon from Skyrim – rose from the forest and circle Hogwarts. It was actually really terrifying to watch, but I couldn’t look away.

Pretty cool, right?

I just watched it fly around until the ground began to shake violently, knocking me to the floor. It wasn’t a hard fall, so I wasn’t unconscious – I just waited for it to stop before getting up. When I did, I was suddenly in something that looked like the outfit that Snow White wore just before she bit into the Evil Queen’s poison apple in Once Upon a Time.

Like this, sans cloak.

As much as it confused me, I didn’t question it. I thought it looked kind of badass. The truly confusing part was when Ron Weasley ran back inside, this time as an adult, and grabbed my arm. He kept saying that we needed to hurry and that we were in danger. While we ran, I kept looking behind us because I couldn’t stop thinking about Alduin flying around. Was he the reason we were in danger?

I couldn’t see his face while we ran, but I’m pretty sure it was something like this.

As we ran, Hogwarts suddenly wasn’t Hogwarts. It was a different castle, nearly in ruins. It was like we ran inside a completely different place. It was dark and depressing – a lot of the ceiling was missing and there was a strong scent of smoke in the air. I couldn’t believe the state of it. I could almost feel tears in my eyes as I looked around. Ron, however, didn’t seem fazed.

His poker face would have been really useful in Vegas.

At this point, I was just looking around and he was tip-toeing off somewhere. I just wanted to see how everything looked. I wanted to know what happened and how. I just wanted to know what could have led to this castle’s destruction. For some reason, I was drawn to a small wooden door on the right of the room. It was just a simple door with a wobbly knob.

I opened it, not knowing what was on the other side.

It led to a large room with ivory walls. There were big platforms on the sides that were slightly raised a little over a foot from the ground. I’m not even sure how I would describe them. Kind of like giant couches without backs, except they weren’t couches at all. In the center of the room was a huge tree. I started to walk closer, but then I heard a crunch from beneath me: A single Loaded Dorito.

It makes me think of the scenes from Al’s apartment in Toy Story 2.

I heard footsteps and shouting, so I quickly walked to the nearest door so the cheese would leave a trail, opened it up, and threw it out to hopefully throw the people off. Then I ran back to a nearby platform and hid under it. I barely made it as the wooden door I had entered earlier burst open. I could almost barely see their faces.

Yeah, it was The Governor from The Walking Dead. What the hell?

I’m not sure which was more unsettling: The fact that he was leading the Saviors – a group that is definitely not his – or the fact that he was having them drop freshly baked Loaded Doritos all over the ground. I held my breath as they walked by my hiding spot. I even closed my eyes out of fear of being seen. That’s when the ground began to move again.

It’s a shame that there wasn’t a crack in the ground because then I could make use of some really lame puns.

The Governor and the Saviors began evacuating. I kept my head ducked, but I could hear them laughing as they left. When I finally dared to open my eyes, I could see a dragon – this time a completely different one – stepping inside the room and following the trail of Loaded Doritos. Of all the things that could lure a dragon, those little cheesy monstrosities were the last thing I would have expected.

It took the bait almost as good as James Woods did in Family Guy.

It was starting to get too close to comfort. Just as I thought it was about to find me, I heard shouting coming from across the room. It was from someone I care about very much. The dragon heard them, too, obviously, and began sprinting towards the tree. My head felt like it was spinning as the shouts continued. I peaked my head out from the platform and watched as the dragon made it’s way to the tree.

That’s when I started to panic.

I looked around and noticed a sword nearby. It looked mostly dull, but it was better than nothing. So I ran towards the sword and barely managed to avoid the dragon’s tail as it tried to swipe at me. I fell a couple of times as I ran to the tree, swinging something that would have absolutely no effect on the beast. That’s when I saw the dragon opening it’s mouth wide, ready to blow fire at the person I care about. I dropped the sword and ran between them just as the dragon spat it’s ball of flame. And then I woke up.

It was a crazy, strange dream. On a side note, now I want to see a Harry Potter/Skyrim/The Walking Dead/Once Upon a Time crossover. All it’s missing is Supernatural.



What makes you happy?

What makes you happy?

I’ve been feeling pretty down lately, so instead of dwelling on it and crashing and burning, I am going to list off some things that make me happy. Maybe they will make you happy, too?

Baby elephants! Seriously, elephants are the purest creatures in the world.

Chubby cats! I want to call it Meatloaf.

This gif, holy crap. If I wanted to personify my anxiety or mood, it would be based on this.

Anime! The cartoons for adults (not like that, you perverts).

“Old” cartoons. Teen Titans was one of my go-to shows when I was a kid.

OLD cartoons! The Flintstones was a classic.

Ron Swanson’s laugh. I can’t not laugh when he laughs.

Rainy days! I sleep better and feel significantly happier when it drizzles.

Sleeping, dreaming, cat’s that are dreaming as they sleep. All of these are very important to me.

The night sky! Looking up at the stars at night makes everything okay.

Pizza… Food… If you looked at me and said that food has NEVER made you happy EVER, you’re lying.

If you’re ever in a bad mood and start to dwell on it, try thinking about the things that make you happy until you eventually make yourself hungry for a slice of pizza.



Run away or she’ll kill you!

Run away or she’ll kill you!

Of course the first time I actually remember a dream in weeks is the time I have a nightmare.

It began with me getting ready for some sort of Harry Potter convention. I was in my room and looking for an outfit to wear. Just as I am about to put on a navy blue shirt with the Ravenclaw crest in rhinestones, my mom barges in and says she has a surprise.

By now I am completely annoyed and put the shirt on as fast as I can while scolding her for not knocking, only to see some guy about my age standing with her. Cue me being REALLY annoyed and confused. My mom noticed this, so she explained that she had found me a date for the convention. I was not having it, for so many reasons, so I decided that if I pretended I was sick and not going he would leave, right? Right? Wrong.

The guy decides to stay and hang out with my family, so I ran off to my room to avoid him. While he seemed like a normal person, he gave me weird vibes to not trust him. I couldn’t pinpoint why, but something about him rubbed me the wrong way and I kept trying to figure out what it was. Eventually I just decided that it was because I was annoyed and pissed at my mom and taking it out on a complete stranger.

I became thirsty after a while so I finally left my room to look for some homemade butterbeer (after all, I missed the con and was still very much in a Harry Potter mood). I was about to give up finding some until I remembered that I put a cup inside my mom’s mini fridge in her room.

Assuming she was gone for a while, I opened the door only to find her and the dude from earlier making out hot and heavy. It was so unbelievably disgusting. They stopped when they saw me, but the weirdness was just getting started. He kept a blank expression the whole time. She acted like a completely different person. I was perplexed at what to say because: 1) She was married and her husband was just in the next room. 2) He was about my age, which made it really weird because she’s old enough to be his mother. 3) When is it ever not awkward to walk in on a parent about to do the naughts?

At this point, my mom is acting as if she is very drunk. Except she wasn’t drunk or high; I could just tell as I watched her that she wasn’t intoxicated. So what was going on? Why was my mom suddenly cheating with this boy? Why was she now acting like a rich, horny sorority girl in a movie? I tried to confront the dude on whether he did anything to her, but instead he stared blankly and sat to watch TV. I was pretty irritated by now and had no idea on what to do.

I ended up talking my mom into sitting on the porch for some fresh air while she kept complaining and trying to pick an argument with me. I finally had a moment of peace, which I really wanted to enjoy. Except I couldn’t because it was too peaceful. I looked outside and found my mother laying on the porch and not breathing.

Frantic, I tried to run out there to try to save her, but the guy was now blocking my way and saying it was too late. I tried to shove him away, but he just wouldn’t budge. This went on for what felt like forever. I started to worry that it was no longer safe there so I started helping my brothers pack so we could stay with our grandparents. We were close to getting my youngest brother’s medical supplies packed when I suddenly heard my mother talking outside. She was alive, but she looked dead. She kept staring at me idly, in a way far more concerning than how the guy had been.

For some reason, the only thing that came to mind was Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. I tried to warn my brothers as she slowly made her way up the steps. I told them to get out, but I knew that the one she wanted most was me. I ran to my room and tried to barricade the door so I could pack an outfit or two and run away to safety. I could hear my mother coming closer and talking about how she was hungry. She started to twist my doorknob, asking if I wanted something to eat and letting me once again know that she was hungry. This rattled my bones to the core, so I ditched my backpack and escaped through the window.

All I could think about was getting away. I didn’t stop for a moment to go the shorter route so I could get away faster. I just wanted out of there. It was when she was looking out my window and starting to climb out that I realized my mistake. I wanted to run around and confuse her, or even try to go back and take her on so that maybe I could tie her up, but I knew that the moment she caught me would be the moment she killed me. I just kept running until I saw that my brother was loading a truck with supplies because he planned on driving away to safety with our younger brother.

I quickly realized that I might not lose her on foot, but I was also too far from the truck. I started crying and running towards my zombie of a mother so that I could distract her while they escaped. She was able to firmly grab hold of me, despite her weak appearance, and once again told me she was hungry. The last thing I saw before it went black was the dude facing us from the window. It was like he was still staring except now he had no eyes. It was just two black circles of emptiness.

… And then I woke up. It was so strange and creepy. It was nothing like Pet Sematary, and yet I still have Pet Sematary vibes from it.

Is this what I get for only sleeping about three hours each night for two weeks?

So, today is…

So, today is…

Extraterrestrial Culture Day

Because, of course, we should take a moment to celebrate those living on Uranus. And hey, now you can use the line, “Hey girl, your ass is out of this world.” I guarantee that she will love* this.


*She actually might hate this and beg you to stop with the astronomical pick-up lines. Shame on you, Sian.

International Book Giving Day

What?!?! I thought that Booksgiving already happened! Can we have another?

International Quirkyalone Day

Because no matter what, we are ALL Queens and should treat ourselves as such.

National Condom Day

Should I even explain this one? Oh, and it is also National Impotence Day, too. I feel like these two should be grouped.

Read To Your Child Day

Remember: You can only read to your child today. Not tomorrow, not the day after that; it has to be today and today only until next year.

Valentine’s Day

A totally useless holiday that makes people feel like they HAVE to buy their SO a gift or else you are a terrible person who does not deserve to celebrate National Condom Day with them. Also a reminder that if you don’t have a date today or any romantic happenings, you are apparently a loser even though the only ones who probably truly enjoy this holiday are companies that monopolizes the hell out of frantic customers who just want to do something special, for someone special, because they are pressured into thinking they have to bluntly prove their love to the extremes.

Not going to lie though, even I tend to get caught up with some feels on this holiday. Why? I blame those parties in elementary school where the kid with the most Valentine’s was obviously the badass of the bunch. Curse those scribbly words on badly-cut heart-shaped red and pink construction paper!

Yeah, there are a ton of holidays going on today. I didn’t even list all of them here because I want to get back to re-reading my favorite manga while snuggling my dog, but you can check them out here.

There is nothing more therapeutic than a hot shower.

There is nothing more therapeutic than a hot shower.

Or I have yet to find something that is.

When I was little, I didn’t care for showers. I thought they were boring and, again, I just didn’t care for them. I can’t think of many kids who liked showers; however, I loved baths. Not just bubble baths, but bath-baths. I would waddle around and splash in the tub, pretending I was a mermaid swimming through the ocean with the fishes, or as if I were a penguin enjoying a dip in the Antarctic Ocean. And, when I did have a bubble bath, I would give myself a Santa beard and blow the bubbles everywhere, and even try to make formations with the bubbles (bubble volcano, anyone?) all the time.

But since I have gotten older, I have learned to appreciate hot showers. I mean, seriously appreciate them. It’s the only time when I can really clear my head or think about my troubles, or even to just cheer myself up. It’s the only place where I feel comfortable crying when I really need to, which is probably more often than I’d like to admit.

Maybe I am just overly dependent on using showers to improve my mood, but it always works like a charm. It is as if when I am in the shower I am washing the day away and giving myself new perspectives. It is just a really relaxing thing that I always look forward to.

My advice to anyone who is having a stressful day or just in a random-emotional-monster mood: Treat yourself to a hot shower or sudsy bubble bath, allow yourself to have a good cry, and wash it all away. Even if it doesn’t help you the way it helps me, at least you had a moment of peace, alone time, and you smell a little less weird. And quite possibly a nice Santa bubble beard.

Goodbye 2016

Goodbye 2016

2016 has been like a giant roller coaster full of twists, turns, and loops galore. I probably spent a good 75% of this year just anxiously and impatiently waiting on it to end. There were times when I just felt like staying in bed and crying my eyes out because of everything piling up, and there were a couple of times when I did just that.

But 2016 hasn’t been totally evil to me, so instead of looking at all of the negative things that has happened I want to reflect on the lighter side of 2016 (in no particular order).

  • My brother and I adopted two kittens, Charlie and Shiva. They’re evil and adorable at the same time.
  • I got an A in accounting even though I struggle with Math. And I didn’t even cheat on the assignments.
  • I bought ice cream from a guy in a hearse. That was weird.
  • My youngest brother did not have to get spinal surgery. That was truly relieving.
  • My grandmother found out that she doesn’t have throat cancer.
  • My cousin beat breast cancer.
  • I got to meet some of my childhood idols at AkaiCon.
  • I found the joy that is Tipsy Bartender.
  • I participated in GISHWHES for the first time and met some really amazing people.
  • I got to see dolphins and a seahorse in person. That takes care of two things from my bucket list.
  • I started writing for the amazing Nerds and Beyond. I get to bombard them with a ton of articles next week.
  • Pottermore opened Ilvermorny and Patronus quizzes. I’m a Ravenclaw/Thunderbird with a ginger cat patronus. Childhood question = Answered
  • I started this blog and, although I don’t write here as often as I had originally planned, I am really glad I did this.
  • I got back in touch with my best friend and first Internet friend, who gave me the best present I could ever ask for this Christmas. Sian, you’re amazing!
  • I learned how to make homemade cookies. I’m so proud of myself.
  • I did not get a tattoo in Florida while drunk (yes, that almost happened, and yes, I consider it an achievement that I didn’t).
  • After nearly a year of running back and forth to the laundromat each day, we finally got a new dryer. I could have cried from happiness.

2016 was many things, but it was also beautiful. It was one of the hardest and greatest years of my life, and I look forward to many more to come. I’m almost sad to see 2016 end, but I look forward to what 2017 has to offer.

As for 2017,

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year!

Casper, did you age into Steve Stevens?

Casper, did you age into Steve Stevens?

Not the guitarist Steve Stevens, no, I mean the fictional character played by Tom Virtue on the old Disney Channel show, Even Stevens. But it would definitely be something if Casper did age into the guitarist Steve Stevens.

To explain, I woke up at 6:22 AM from a weird dream/nightmare and now that I’m back up, I thought I would share this dream here. It wasn’t necessarily that creepy. I mean, it wasn’t like the other strange dreams (I’m looking at you, podiatrist dream!) I tend to have, but it was still enough to weird me out. I don’t even know why it was weirding (screw you, spellcheck, weirding is a real word and should be treated as such!) me out so much, but it did.

So instead of me just going on a rant about it, how’s about I just share it?

I was twelve again and living back in one of my childhood homes (fun fact: this house ended up getting demolished when we moved out because the landlord wanted to build a brand new house). It wasn’t anything fancy – just a simple three bedroom home on top of a hill.

It was nighttime and, for some reason, I had decided to sleep in the van. For some weirder reason, my mom was actually okay with this (which if I had actually asked to do this at that age or even now, she would freak out and ask me if I’m crazy). Instead of sleeping, however, I kept myself busy with my phone because I did not want to go to sleep. It wasn’t as if I was just being a stubborn child that did not want to sleep or anything like that. I was afraid, and I didn’t know why. I was afraid of the dark outside the house and I was afraid of being inside the house, but I wasn’t sure which of the two I was more fearful of.

Just as my phone was about to die, something outside caught my eye. It wasn’t something scary or strange (well, it would be strange to see this in southern Kentucky, but you know what I mean). It was the Northern Lights appearing out of nowhere. I watched as the lights danced in the sky, mesmerized by their gleam. This distraction from whatever I was fearing was enough to calm me down.

As quickly as they appeared, the spectacle left the sky and I was once again left alone in the darkness. The fears once again began to consume me and, in a moment of panic, I gathered my things and ran back inside as fast as I could. My family was getting ready for bed, so I had managed to come in just before my mom had locked the door.

Taylor: 01 – Fears: 00

I walked to the living room and, for some reason, my youngest brother’s bed was in there. But I didn’t question it. In this dream it was normal for such an occurrence. I actually found comfort in this because it meant I could sleep on the couch without fear of the darkness because of his nightlight.

My new task was to go to my room and get some extra pillows so the couch would be more comfortable. This wouldn’t be a problem except that I was reluctant to go to my room. I was more afraid of going to my room than anything, but I chose to get it over with.

It was cold enough that I could see my breath when it exhaled. Aside from the small bit of light from the hallways, it was totally dark. The only lit area was the path to my room’s entrance to my old white dresser, which was covered in clothes. And while I was there just for the pillows, I decided to go to the dresser and start digging through the clothes. It was as if I were a dog digging for a bone, but instead of a bone I found something else: coins. Tons and tons of coins. I was surprised to see so many, much less to find them there of all places.

Before I could inspect this “treasure,” I heard the sound of a man saying something incoherently. It was enough to make me flee my room.

Taylor: 01 – Fears: 01

Back to the safety of the living room, I tried to tell my mom what I heard. She just kind of shrugged it off and said I was hearing things, but I knew what I heard and was not going to ignore it. Before I could say anything else, my mom asked me to check outside and to lock the doors for the night. I did as I was told and as soon as I opened the door I saw him. Steve Stevens (aka Tom Virtue).

He was dressed like Mr. Clean and smiled at me. Oh, and he was a ghost. I momentarily froze up, not able to scream or run off. I kept thinking that I needed to scream, and scream loudly. But I couldn’t. I was paralyzed in fear for several seconds. It was not until he looked down at me and said something (I can’t remember what he said, just that it sounded creepily polite) that I finally was able to slam the door and scream for my mother as I ran to tell her what I just witnessed.

Taylor: 01 – Fears: 02

I finally talked her into checking outside, and she did. But it wasn’t outside anymore. Our front door opened into what looked like the Springfield Retirement Castle from The Simpsons, except it was solid white and not a cartoon. Its residents (Abe Simpson, Jasper Beardly, and even Hans Moleman) were also there, and they looked like they were all made of clay.

The ghost of Steve Stevens/Tom Virtue/Mr. Clean was not there, and it angered me. Everything changed and the ghost wasn’t there, and it made me angry. So I ran past my mom, aged back to 21, and started shouting at the ceiling.

This is pretty much how I looked, except I looked like me and it was indoors.

I woke up at this point and, as I said, was completely weirded out. I wasn’t scared or anything; it’s just funny and strange how our minds come up with these sort of things.

Oh, and:

Fears totally won that dream.

NaNoWriMo kicked my butt!

NaNoWriMo kicked my butt!

Last month I announced my novel for NaNoWriMo (Peculiar You!). I also said that I was going to post regular updates and even upload what I have written here, but that didn’t happen. And that didn’t happen because NaNoWriMo kicked my butt early on. I would start writing, but then I would have to skip a day here and there because everything got busy. Before I knew it, over a week went by and I found myself even making excuses to not write. Not because I did not want to; I just felt like it would be hard to catch up. Besides, I did not have to make that many excuses thanks to my classes and helping out at home pretty much kept me busy enough.

Even though I didn’t beat NaNoWriMo, I am still really glad that I took part in it. And I am going to continue working on Peculiar You! – it will be a project to work on to prepare me for NaNoWriMo 2017. I also still want to share updates here, so I am going to try to post an update every two weeks.

Chapter one will be posted here next week.

P.S. – My word count was about 4,100 words, which is 4,000 more than I thought I would have done. Woohoo!

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