Beside my bed is a nightstand that holds many things: A TV remote, jewelry that I was too lazy to put back in my case, pens, a charger for my phone, the current book I am reading, a journal that has been barely started on but already holds my present innermost thoughts and feelings that I keep to myself, and a small notepad full of drabbles that I jot down as they come to me.
The drabbles are short and personal; sometimes they are just thoughts inspired by a song that evoked a lot of emotions out of me, and sometimes they are like pep talks for when I need it most. Lately, I have been giving myself a lot of pep talks because I start to overthink things or worry myself about the future, or maybe I just feel sad and jot things down. I’ve noticed that a lot of people have been pretty down lately as well, so I wanted to share some of these with you guys.
Let’s make a wish and dream of stars that shine brighter than the moon in a sea of clouds. Let’s escape to a world so beautiful it can only exist in our hearts. Let’s pretend that it doesn’t hurt when the ones we care for stops caring about us because we know that if we have room to hurt then we have room to love, too. Let’s pretend that everything is okay because soon enough everything really will be okay.
I wrote this after listening to Lana Del Rey’s rendition of Once Upon a Dream. I thought it was a nice twist to the classic, and the tone to it was something that reminded me of the dreary (but not quite dark) feeling that had been lingering around me off and on recently.
Right now might be tough, but it’ll get better… And tougher. But the tough moments always pass eventually, and that is when we can appreciate the better times. So instead of dwelling on the negatives, let’s get through this and look forward to the positives. They will be coming around the moment before she does. And who is this she, anyways? The song never specified that, but I bet she was also going through rough times and trying to move forward. Maybe the song is actually symbolic for when someone is going through a rough time (the mountains) and the train is actually moving forward to better times. Maybe it’s just a goofy song. It’s up to us to interpret it, right?
I got carried away on this one, but it was very late when I wrote it. I was feeling down and then, out of nowhere, that song came to mind so my exhausted brain started dissecting it. You’re welcome, English professors.
When you plan things, it never really works out the way you expected or initially wanted it to. That’s okay, because it’s the unexpected turns and twists that can make the best memories (and anecdotes for awkward situations). Rather than getting disappointed, we should embrace these moments and look for the positive light shining in whatever plans fell through. For now, let’s just plan the unexpected. That way we are always right and always surprised.
Almost everything I plan on doesn’t really happen and I can never seem to prevent it or get things back on track. A lot of times I get disappointed, but I still try to remain positive because I know that whatever will happen will happen if it’s meant to be – even if I have to give it a little nudge. If not, then that’s okay, too. Because life is full of surprises and we can either run from them or embrace the inevitable. (This was meant to be a commentary, but apparently I am in drabble-mode. Oops.)
Sometimes we feel as if we are diamonds: Unbreakable, beautiful, and loved. Most of the time, however, we probably feel like dirt clumps: Easily broken, ugly, and as if our presence is desired by no one. But not everyone likes diamonds, and not everyone hates dirt clumps. Maybe, rather than a dirt clump or a diamond, we are most like coal; Indifferent and a mix of smoothness and roughness. Maybe someday we will become the diamonds we sometimes wish we were, but if not then we’re still okay.
There are days when I feel happy and positive, but then there are days when I feel down and negative. That’s when I need to remind myself that I am like coal. Also, I should not be used or else it might screw up the world. (Side note: Why are we still not using renewable resources to save the planet?)
Maybe these drabbles will sound silly or weird – they might not even make much sense to some people. But they make sense to me (and hopefully to you guys, too), and that is what matters most. Also, I know they are not quite “drabbles,” but “drabbles” seemed like a good word to use instead of “random-crap-I-was-too-tired-to-100%-think-through.”