When some people see dandelions, they see pesky weeds that are “ruining” their lawn. Others might see allergies or bees (the latter is actually a good thing and we should totally try to save our bees), which bums them out. When I see dandelions, part of me still sees wishes ready to be blown.
A few weeks ago, I was reading Nova’s (I really recommend reading her blog; she is so funny and insightful as she writes about her trips around the world) blog post about treating yourself when it made me think of how often I treat my own self. Other than a trip to Louisville to meet Jenny Lawson and getting a new journal for writing on my Walmart adventure, I almost never treat myself to anything. In fact, I am one of those people that almost rarely treats themselves. I’d rather get things for other people – whether they need it or not – and if I do treat myself I usually feel guilty about it immediately after because the funds could have gone to something more important. Don’t even get me started on when people gift me things.
While that is mostly because I’d rather be practical and save for the future, there is a part of me deep down that doesn’t really feel like I deserve to treat myself to jewelry or handbags or anything special. Why? I don’t know. No one has ever tried to talk me out of treating myself except myself. My family and friends have always urged me to self-gift when they know something has caught my eye, but I almost never do. When they ask why not I never have a good answer to give so I usually change the subject or act like I didn’t really want or need whatever it is even though I did. Then I will think about getting the item and guilt immediately washes over me before I even decide to get it.
So, after reflecting on my lack of self-kindness (or self-esteem?), I decided to look for something that I always wanted: A moon locket. I found a beautiful one, but then I thought about something I would treasure even more: A terrarium necklace. And that led me to finding this window locket with three dandelion seeds preserved inside. I’d like to think of it as wishes kept close to my heart for when I really need them, which is more often than I would like to admit.
It might seem childlike or silly, but I still like to make wishes. Sometimes I wish on the first star I see at night and any meteorites passing through. I wish on dandelions, fallen eyelashes, and broken turkey wishbones. Sometimes when 11:11 rolls around and I happen to see the time, part of me remembers elementary school when the kids would say, “It’s 11:11, let’s make a wish!” And I wish on that, too. A lot of it is because of habits from when I was a kid that are hard to break, but part of it is because there are a lot of things that I would wish for if wishes were real.
For a moment, let’s pretend that wishes are real and we could have that one thing we want with all our hearts and make a wish together. Let’s close our eyes, picture whatever it is, and smile as we think our wishes (because obviously if we say it the wish might not come true). It might not come true just yet, or even at all, but at least you wished for it, right?
Now let’s start treating ourselves better, be it with self-gifts or simply taking better care of ourselves. We might make wishes, but we don’t need them to be kind to ourselves.