I was browsing Facebook and my friend shared this article about how the “Texas Butthole Tickling Bandit” was finally caught. AND THEN I DIED OF LAUGHTER, RIP ME.
I don’t care if it’s real or fake, this made my day. No, it made my life. I’M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER. It only got better when I looked it up and found this other article about it, too, from last year. It’s anustonishing. The best line? Right here:
We spoke we Richard Nays who lives near 3 of the “B*oty ticklers” victims homes and he told us “Fam I slept on my back everyday, I can finally sleep on my stomach again”.
We can now rest easy and unclench.
***EDIT: I THINK I KNOW THE IDENTITY OF THE TRUE BUTT TICKLING BANDIT. That or there are a ton of butt pirates after the booty. In Texas.