Apparently dragons like Doritos Loaded.

Apparently dragons like Doritos Loaded.

I usually don’t have recurring dreams. I don’t even think I have ever had the same dream more than once, or at least I don’t remember it happening. This week, however, has been an exception because I have now had the same nerdtastic dream twice. It was strange, weird, and – now that I think of it – a bit of a nightmare.

I had just walked through the doors of Hogwarts, astounded by its beauty and in awe by its structure. Rain could be heard from outside, which would have made it seem creepy if not for the fact that the castle felt like home. I was about to wander off, but a young Ron Weasley stopped me with a greeting.

I would have expected an older Rupert Grint to appear.

Totally out-of-character for Ron, but he cheerily offered to show me around (not that he wasn’t a friendly kid in the movies and books, but I feel like he wouldn’t act excited to give a tour of Hogwarts even if he was tasked to). Part of me was upset that I couldn’t sneak and look around on my own, but I was just happy to be in Hogwarts at all. I don’t really remember much of the tour, except the part where he shows me the Ravenclaw common room.

Why didn’t the movies show the Ravenclaw common room?!

It was one of the most beautiful and coziest places I had ever been. I stood at the entrance for what felt like several minutes, trying to focus on just one of the room; then I did. It wasn’t the statue or paintings, or even the shelves full of books – it was the windows. There was a beautiful view, but my attention was on the forest. Something was about to happen, and it wasn’t good.

If you ever wanted to know what anxiety feels like, this image is it.

Suddenly alarms went off and people were scrambling back and forth. I turned my head to watch Ron run off, only to look back at the window and watch as Alduin – a badass dragon from Skyrim – rose from the forest and circle Hogwarts. It was actually really terrifying to watch, but I couldn’t look away.

Pretty cool, right?

I just watched it fly around until the ground began to shake violently, knocking me to the floor. It wasn’t a hard fall, so I wasn’t unconscious – I just waited for it to stop before getting up. When I did, I was suddenly in something that looked like the outfit that Snow White wore just before she bit into the Evil Queen’s poison apple in Once Upon a Time.

Like this, sans cloak.

As much as it confused me, I didn’t question it. I thought it looked kind of badass. The truly confusing part was when Ron Weasley ran back inside, this time as an adult, and grabbed my arm. He kept saying that we needed to hurry and that we were in danger. While we ran, I kept looking behind us because I couldn’t stop thinking about Alduin flying around. Was he the reason we were in danger?

I couldn’t see his face while we ran, but I’m pretty sure it was something like this.

As we ran, Hogwarts suddenly wasn’t Hogwarts. It was a different castle, nearly in ruins. It was like we ran inside a completely different place. It was dark and depressing – a lot of the ceiling was missing and there was a strong scent of smoke in the air. I couldn’t believe the state of it. I could almost feel tears in my eyes as I looked around. Ron, however, didn’t seem fazed.

His poker face would have been really useful in Vegas.

At this point, I was just looking around and he was tip-toeing off somewhere. I just wanted to see how everything looked. I wanted to know what happened and how. I just wanted to know what could have led to this castle’s destruction. For some reason, I was drawn to a small wooden door on the right of the room. It was just a simple door with a wobbly knob.

I opened it, not knowing what was on the other side.

It led to a large room with ivory walls. There were big platforms on the sides that were slightly raised a little over a foot from the ground. I’m not even sure how I would describe them. Kind of like giant couches without backs, except they weren’t couches at all. In the center of the room was a huge tree. I started to walk closer, but then I heard a crunch from beneath me: A single Loaded Dorito.

It makes me think of the scenes from Al’s apartment in Toy Story 2.

I heard footsteps and shouting, so I quickly walked to the nearest door so the cheese would leave a trail, opened it up, and threw it out to hopefully throw the people off. Then I ran back to a nearby platform and hid under it. I barely made it as the wooden door I had entered earlier burst open. I could almost barely see their faces.

Yeah, it was The Governor from The Walking Dead. What the hell?

I’m not sure which was more unsettling: The fact that he was leading the Saviors – a group that is definitely not his – or the fact that he was having them drop freshly baked Loaded Doritos all over the ground. I held my breath as they walked by my hiding spot. I even closed my eyes out of fear of being seen. That’s when the ground began to move again.

It’s a shame that there wasn’t a crack in the ground because then I could make use of some really lame puns.

The Governor and the Saviors began evacuating. I kept my head ducked, but I could hear them laughing as they left. When I finally dared to open my eyes, I could see a dragon – this time a completely different one – stepping inside the room and following the trail of Loaded Doritos. Of all the things that could lure a dragon, those little cheesy monstrosities were the last thing I would have expected.

It took the bait almost as good as James Woods did in Family Guy.

It was starting to get too close to comfort. Just as I thought it was about to find me, I heard shouting coming from across the room. It was from someone I care about very much. The dragon heard them, too, obviously, and began sprinting towards the tree. My head felt like it was spinning as the shouts continued. I peaked my head out from the platform and watched as the dragon made it’s way to the tree.

That’s when I started to panic.

I looked around and noticed a sword nearby. It looked mostly dull, but it was better than nothing. So I ran towards the sword and barely managed to avoid the dragon’s tail as it tried to swipe at me. I fell a couple of times as I ran to the tree, swinging something that would have absolutely no effect on the beast. That’s when I saw the dragon opening it’s mouth wide, ready to blow fire at the person I care about. I dropped the sword and ran between them just as the dragon spat it’s ball of flame. And then I woke up.

It was a crazy, strange dream. On a side note, now I want to see a Harry Potter/Skyrim/The Walking Dead/Once Upon a Time crossover. All it’s missing is Supernatural.



2 thoughts on “Apparently dragons like Doritos Loaded.

    1. I mean, at least now we know juuust in case a dragon ever magically appears.

      Actually, I have kind of felt like that lately.

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