Or, well, Math in general. I hate Math with a passion. It has just never been something that I have easily grasped. I need a ton of examples and step-by-step tutorials in order to really understand something. Even then I just forget about it faster than I could learn it.
When I was 6, my teacher never really taught my class much about Math. All we really did was do the color-by-number coloring pages. I would even get in trouble for that because I had lost my blue and green crayons and substituted with blue green instead. My mother only found out about this at the end of the year when it was too late to change anything. To “make up for it” my teacher gave us calculators after several parents scolded her. Yeah, that helped a lot.
Every year after that was teachers trying to catch us up hurriedly while rushing us to the things we were supposed to be doing. It never really worked out well for most of us, and as a result we ended up with the school’s lowest Math grades during the end-of-school exams. It only made things harder for us students and future teachers – in fact, one of my last Math teachers that I had before I was home-schooled broke down crying after seeing our test scores. I felt really bad for her, but I knew that I was trying my absolute best. I remember always sitting near the front and constantly asking her to explain the problems to me.
I ended up getting bullied in 7th grade* (screw you, Kristen!) – not because of my poor Math though – so my mom decided to home school my siblings and I because our faith in the American education system was shaken. This certainly did not help my with my Math problems. In fact, it probably made them that much worse. My mom had started out with a good lesson plan and even made us some fairly hard tests, but it all went down the drain pretty fast.
Our “classes” turned into us just sitting on the couch in our pajamas and holding our textbooks open until 3:30 whilst watching TV. It was kind of like Felicia Day’s personal experience with being home schooled, which she described in her AMAZING book that I cannot recommend enough, You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost), but with a game of Checkers and paper airplanes instead of dance classes. It was actually incredibly boring, except for when my grandmother came over with homemade peanut butter pie and had us all make spit balls.
When I did do some sort of work, it was almost always Literature. I loved reading all of the stories in all of our textbooks. I probably read the short stories about Helen Keller and Anne Frank a dozen times. Reading memoirs and autobiographies was my favorite thing to do. Well, I also had a large collection of the Nancy Drew Mystery Stories that I read every night. I still had to do Math sometimes, and I always got stuck. My mom tried to help me, but she wasn’t very thorough with working out the problems and her lack of patience made me think twice about asking for help.
I finally got my GED when I was 16 in 2012. I thought it was my ticket to temporary freedom from academics because I assumed that I would be taking a year’s break before starting college. Nope. As soon as my certificate came in, my mother applied for me to study long distance (because it was too far and I was not allowed to stay in a dorm because I was underage) at one of the local community colleges. I ended up getting accepted and was soon thrown into something that I definitely was not ready for.
I had a full blown panic attack on the first day (and a few times throughout the semester) because it was all new to me. I was pretty much self-taught since 7th grade, so all of my assignments made my head spin. I did not do too well for the first two semesters, but I eventually got the hang of it. I even got straight A’s for the first time in my life, which was a pretty big deal for me. I was really proud of myself for getting certificates in the mail stating that I was on the Dean’s or President’s Lists. I have even recently received a certificate from the school for integrated office skills and another certifying me as a hospital admissions specialist. They may not be that big of a deal, but it meant a lot to me.
However, I was not taking the Math classes required by my major. Now that has caught up with me and I am stuck completing nothing but Math classes in order to receive my degree and finally finish school. And, well, I haven’t been doing too hot in them. My one Math class is pretty basic, but I am still struggling with a ton of the problems. The other is a living nightmare. I absolutely hate accounting. I have never been so confused over a class in my life. The book is not the least bit helpful, too. I have been messing up on a few assignments, which has me worried that I might not pass this class. I really don’t want to re-take it. I would almost rather quit all together than to re-take such a disastrous class. But I am way too close to graduating for that, so I guess I have to suck it up.
And that concludes my Math rant/vent/whatever.
*She was mad because my friend and I were playing and as I splashed some water at my friend a little bit dripped on her instead. No big deal, right? Wrong. She then rounded up at least 30 girls from all grades to follow me as I walked to the band room (which was in a separate building from the actual school) as they called me names and threatened me. It actually shook me up pretty bad for a while.